I think you might need a bit less repetition, or to sing/scream more to overcome some of the repetition.

Thanks a lot i'm definitely going to work on my screams more

@"Diamond Skies Are Enough For Me"
I'm always disappointed when I hear a good melody screamed rather than sung... But I guess that just comes with the genre. That's just my personal opinion. It's fun to imagine the implied melody, at least.

I must say, I liked the contrast between the upbeat instrumentation and the angry/angst-ridden/vindictive lyrics. Funny in a subversive.

           
Thanks for your feedback i'm glad you enjoyed it.   

@Amity Level Two

I will work to improve my screams/shouts

I must say, I liked the contrast between the upbeat instrumentation and the angry/angst-ridden/vindictive lyrics. Funny in a subversive.

May I ask you how old you are?
You should definitely improve your screams/shouts. They just don't sound great. I think It's because of your age.
You need plenty more volume in your voice. Try to shout or scream really loud, don't think at your mom, neighbours or whoever, this helps pretty good!

Definitely work on learning better chord progression, improving song structure, recording quality, and mixing.
Good luck!

yeah, the recording quality was a bit rough, Thanks for your feedback

http://theskyisblacknotblue.bandcamp.co … -blue-demo