Im not an expert on dnb, but giving it space helps a lot; e.g. a bassline with a halftime feeling ("letting it roll"), sparse melody, and then drums: try to let them flow - maybe put a bassdrum or snare at 7, and try hihats on every 16th note. ride cymbals could do the trick as well, should probably try that myself.
chopping the beat up to much takes out the flow, but thats a matter of taste.

i hope this is still relevant to you ..

Focus more on the bassline. Drum and Bass is called Drum and Bass for a reason Make that bass the main element, unlike the synth. That is, if you're going for traditional DnB with chiptune. Otherwise, I'm in love with what you've got here. It's pretty sick. Maybe just keep making it the way you are

If you load samples in, the Fxx command can be used to do a lot of fun chopping!

honestly, I like it for what it is

It sounds like maybe you should like, listen to some dnb, cause it seems like you don't know what it is.

Exactly. If you want to make a drum and bass song, you need to put more drums in. And more bass. Hence "drum & bass".

tbh, I didn't think this was bad at all! you just need to make the drums crazier IMO. you seem to be focusing too much on the kick-chop up those drums to be less of a "groove" and more of a "spaz." and of course, it could never hurt to load in and chop up a drum break-that's where the heart of this style lies IMO

I'd say first and foremost create less interesting leads and more interesting bass. If you're using 2 LSDJs you shouldn't have any problems. Double up on wave and pulse channel basses. Experiment in your wave channel to get some interesting bass sound and layer that with a pulse channel sub bass.

Needs more cymbal action. You should be riding cymbals throughout the song to keep the rhythm moving. Also sounds like you were using two different snares, There's one that is good and snappy I'd use that one throughout your song rather than mixing between a strong and weak snare. The kick is pretty good as well just eliminate that little high end click on the end of it.

I currently have two songs up on my Soundcloud I'd consider drum and bass (Thought Crime and Kensington Strangler.) In these I only use one LSDJ so with two you should make these attempts at DnB sound weak.

www.soundcloud.com/defiantsystems

Also, no disrespect intended but im not really hearing 2 LSDJs worth of stuff going on. How are you using the 2 DMGs? One as the primary song and the other for depth? Seeing as you have 8 channels you really need to beef up that snare a bit maybe using a pitch bent 50/50 square to give it a bit of bottom end.

work on your percussion, i didnt like the snare and youve got 2 noise channels for hihats and cymbols n shit.

There is some really good harmony in there and it is a really good song regardless of it not being DnB; however, if you did want to go with more of a DnB sound, I would recommend just spacing things out a lot more... By this, I mean that you should have points in the song where it is very minimal and is just the bass and very few leads, then you can start stacking on more harmonies to bring the song into frenzied climax. A good example of this is being very well implemented is in Pendulum's song Witchcraft (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogMNV33AhCY). You should also try to make every beat feel very hard hitting--like the recoil of firing a gun (Like the punch in this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvq7Jy-TFAU).

http://chipmusic.org/monotron/music/1xlsdj-sound-demo This is something I did with the Z command and modulation, it turned out pretty good but with 2xlsdj if you phased it you could probably get a beefy reese out of the sine or saw channel

The song is really cool, kind of a StanSB feel to it, I think that you need the base to be long instead of glitchy if you know what I mean. A long deep reese is what makes DnB what it is. I'm not sure how to make a reese on a gameboy but I'm sure that two low end saw or sine waves phased would probably give that kind of sound. Modulating your bass can also give it a really crunchy sound the Z command can do wonders here

Yeah, this doesn't feel like drum and bass as much as just hairtune with a two step in there.
You've got two wave channels, get some phasing saw bass happening in there.
Also push the tempo up. 170 is nice, but fuck it, hit 185.

I suggest removing elements that don't belong in drum and bass (arps, melodics) and replace them with a skank and a reese bass.