"So there's this naked guy there playing videogames and everybody shouts maybe it's a really aggressive art happening I don't understand it's so confusing" - The Wall Street Journal

"shitty music made on shitty old computers no one wants anymore"

Seems like it's shaping up to be a lot of things.

It's speedmetal, but without guitars and metal.

I think you should add a short bit about what sort of genres will be played by the artists on the bill. If it's dance/rock/death metal it will attract different crowds.

If they were to ask for an event description and you said "dance music programmed onto old games consoles", they will have a better idea of how to promote it.

"It's music, but not really"

whatever y'all can eat a rhino dick

I feel that the latter doesn't invoke the former.

I like this a lot. Except I'm not capable of 'Expert programming'.

I rather like "retrotech" as part of a description. It is descriptive and sounds cool!

I don't think a single one of us has any hairtune. Decktonic's given a fairly accurate description, albeit a bit wordy.

"Headbanging on post-modernist aesthetics"
"Not in Employment, Education or Training"

Inspiring questions can be good, if you want to peak peoples' interest. I'm advocating going for the "here's something mysterious and surprising you have not seen before" approach. I'm also advocating the nostalgia element here. Marketing is easy if you go for the lowest common denominator.

You could also tailor it to your genre of music.

It's up to you.

The venue wants your "elevator pitch," for which "Mario at a Rave" works provided you actually sound like Mario at a rave. The answer you give should relate to your own sound, not necessarily to chipmusic as a whole. Decktonic had the right idea, though it should be shorter if you can help it, and ...  Decktonic's only works if you are actually pushing the limits of your system...

an enormous internet circlejerk