OmO
Offline
Outer Space

So I'm experimenting with different styles at the moment and made a track.
But before I go any further I wanted a little bit of CC, because I honestly can't tell if it sucks or not.

link: https://superkawaiisquad.bandcamp.com/t … ak-edition

Any kind of help or criticism is very welcome and if you just want to say "wow, this is the suckiest pile of suck I've ever heard" then thats ok too.

edit: If you would like to say anything about anything else on the page that's cool too, but there's nothing really serious on it yet.

Last edited by OmO (Aug 16, 2014 6:34 am)

DeerPresident
Offline
South Korea

I don't know if my criticism/opinion matters, as I am not really any good at this shit, but here goes. Also, I only have really shitty headphones ATM so I can't say anything about the levels or particular instruments.
I gave your song a few listens, and here's what I think:
- First off, I REALLY enjoy this track, and the melodic elements reminded me a LOT of the games I played as a kid, which is VERY COOL! So THANK YOU for that.
- I LOVE the art, but I think I already said that in another thread smile
- Plan the structure of your song (write down what you want to happen in the track, and in what order), and come back to the parts that you like best, repetition makes a song more memorable.
- A longer intro that relies more on melody, or abstract sounds, as opposed to the percussive intro you have now might be nice?
- Work a bit more on transitions, in some parts of the song it sounded like the musical equivalent of a "smash-cut", which kind of ruins the flow (for me, at least).
So, yeah, your song doesn't suck, but it can be AWESOME with a little more work.

OmO
Offline
Outer Space
DeerPresident wrote:

I don't know if my criticism/opinion matters, as I am not really any good at this shit, but here goes. Also, I only have really shitty headphones ATM so I can't say anything about the levels or particular instruments.
I gave your song a few listens, and here's what I think:
- First off, I REALLY enjoy this track, and the melodic elements reminded me a LOT of the games I played as a kid, which is VERY COOL! So THANK YOU for that.
- I LOVE the art, but I think I already said that in another thread smile
- Plan the structure of your song (write down what you want to happen in the track, and in what order), and come back to the parts that you like best, repetition makes a song more memorable.
- A longer intro that relies more on melody, or abstract sounds, as opposed to the percussive intro you have now might be nice?
- Work a bit more on transitions, in some parts of the song it sounded like the musical equivalent of a "smash-cut", which kind of ruins the flow (for me, at least).
So, yeah, your song doesn't suck, but it can be AWESOME with a little more work.

Thank you! Your opinion definitely does matter to me!

I was iffy about the intro myself. The percussion and glitchiness in the track probably come from my background in more "thrashy" chipmusic. It's definitely an issue I need to handle, but as for the "smash-cut" thing I'm not sure what you mean. Could you maybe cite some times or something? Unless you're reffering to the prolonged loud glitchy part nearing the end then I understand. Overall your feedback was awesome and I thank you for it! heart

edit: I looked up the definition of smash-cut like a normal person would have. I think I understand, I just need to work on transitions.

Last edited by OmO (Aug 16, 2014 7:39 am)

defPREMIUM
Offline

feelin it

OmO
Offline
Outer Space
defPREMIUM wrote:

feelin it

sweeeet. heart

Last edited by OmO (Aug 16, 2014 7:40 am)

DeerPresident
Offline
South Korea

Sorry, I don't always express myself very clearly, what I meant was that for many transitions the one part seems to end abruptly and then the next part just starts, sometimes with completely different sounds. Normally there would be some element, be it the melody, the drum pattern or the harmonic elements of the instruments that stays consistant through the transition and then change a bit later in the piece. I don't know if that makes more sense or if I am just talking out of my ass.

Love the song, can't wait to hear more tunes from you.

OmO
Offline
Outer Space
DeerPresident wrote:

Sorry, I don't always express myself very clearly, what I meant was that for many transitions the one part seems to end abruptly and then the next part just starts, sometimes with completely different sounds. Normally there would be some element, be it the melody, the drum pattern or the harmonic elements of the instruments that stays consistant through the transition and then change a bit later in the piece. I don't know if that makes more sense or if I am just talking out of my ass.

Love the song, can't wait to hear more tunes from you.

Ok, I understand what you mean. Thanks for all your help! I'll be making more tunes no doubt! wink

Dire Hit
Offline
Seattle, WA

It'll suck if you keep asking the wrong questions.

Knife Crimes
Offline

It does not suck.

defPREMIUM
Offline
Dire Hit wrote:

It'll suck if you keep asking the wrong questions.

damn

Mrwimmer
Offline
Los Angeles, CA

You've got some interesting things going on here, as far as composition goes.  And your sound design is quite enjoyable.  I think you maybe need to work more on bringing the two styles you have going here (the more poppy parts and the more abstract parts)  Also you need to mix more carefully inside of LSDJ.  Your samples sound INCREDIBLY quiet, and that's probably because your pulse and noise channels are too loud (or maybe your custom samples are a little wonky and my ears are off) and I feel like your wav channel could pop a little more.  All around though, interesting programming, just a few little tweaks and I think you'll be making pretty cool stuff smile

OmO
Offline
Outer Space
Mrwimmer wrote:

You've got some interesting things going on here, as far as composition goes.  And your sound design is quite enjoyable.  I think you maybe need to work more on bringing the two styles you have going here (the more poppy parts and the more abstract parts)  Also you need to mix more carefully inside of LSDJ.  Your samples sound INCREDIBLY quiet, and that's probably because your pulse and noise channels are too loud (or maybe your custom samples are a little wonky and my ears are off) and I feel like your wav channel could pop a little more.  All around though, interesting programming, just a few little tweaks and I think you'll be making pretty cool stuff smile

Yeah my wav channel may be a little quiet in this song...I just wasn't getting what I wanted from the other channels at lower volumes. I'll work on it more now thank you for your input. smile

Dire Hit wrote:

It'll suck if you keep asking the wrong questions.

I can tell that's really deep, but I don't understand what it means.

iamowlsense
Offline
California

I like your song! I think the progression is really interesting. arpeggiated really differently than most. I dig it!

OmO wrote:
Dire Hit wrote:

It'll suck if you keep asking the wrong questions.

I can tell that's really deep, but I don't understand what it means.


the concept of 'suck' is relative to an opinion.
Your song is what it is. I like it. It could be different, who knows? That's up to you really.

Dire Hit
Offline
Seattle, WA
OmO wrote:
Dire Hit wrote:

It'll suck if you keep asking the wrong questions.

I can tell that's really deep, but I don't understand what it means.

I'm trying to say that asking specific and thoughtful questions about your work gets you specific and thoughtful feedback. The best way to learn to improve is to ask what specifically is good or bad about your work.

I think the snares in the intro could use some envelope changes, think like marching snare rolls or the intro to 'Infinite Daps' by RL Grime and Baauer. Melodically this seems to work pretty well although I find myself wanting a bit more of a clear structure. I'm not saying you should make jarring changes every 4 phrases or something but I think an indicator that says "this section is different from this section" like drum fills or surprising pauses makes a song more enjoyable than slowly adding layers. Also, experiment a little more with commands on pulse instruments, I feel your melodies could be seriously improved by the introduction of L commands in some areas.

Other than that, just work on volume control (which every lsdj user needs to do, nobody ever really has it perfect) and practice practice practice. Keep doing what you're doing.

Mrwimmer
Offline
Los Angeles, CA
Dire Hit wrote:

Other than that, just work on volume control (which every lsdj user needs to do, nobody ever really has it perfect) and practice practice practice. Keep doing what you're doing.


Roboctopus.

defPREMIUM
Offline

+1