Free Stuff!!! (Page 1 of 5)

How did it get broken?

Hello! I'd like to get DeadBeatBlast's album, the GB/GBC Link Cable, and Kid Icarus' album please. In order to convince you to send me these items, I'm going to tell you a story. A story about the great space strawberry.

The great space strawberry* was not an strawberry at all; instead it was a huge alien being, the last of its race. Aeons ago, before time was even invented, the Kyrgyzoids (TGSS's species) reigned as the supreme dominators of known space, using their devastating disintegrator weapons to keep other civilizations in check. However, the government of the Kyrgyzoids morally stagnated and became corrupt over time, leading to vast oversights in both the advancement of weapons technology and the monitoring of some of the apparently less rebellious worlds. Finally, a minor rebellion on Qwantos VI became a rallying point for the oppressed denizens of all of the planets underneath the Kyrgyzoids' rule, leading to a brutal and inhumane galactic war. When the Kyrgyzoid's defeat became imminent, pulse-drive powered star-dreadnoughts impeding on the territory of the most stalwart of the former dominators' strongholds, the once-powerful race activated an immense nuclear bomb that wiped out nearly all life in known space. However, in a freak accident, TGSS had been working in a massive lead-lined safe that somehow prevented the radiation poisoning from destroying his neurons. Filled with regret at what his people had done, TGSS dedicated his life towards the creation of a perfect universe, filled with flourishing life not unlike that that had once filled the universe that TGSS knew and loved.
Over the millennia, TGSS submitted himself to terrible cybernetic and biological modifications, forming himself into a giant, spacebearing red fruit, covered in thousands of life-giving seeds. He flew throughout the universe, depositing his seeds onto promising worlds. The seeds sprouted and evolved in myriad ways, diverging to become the species that are unfamiliar and familiar to human beings, some examples being people, dolphins, Martians, and Shpleabii.
Though TGSS's cause was noble, it brought him into direct conflict with the presiding god of our universe, Zuul. Though a benevolent god, Zuul's belief was that evil-doers should be forced to bear the results of their actions. Since TGSS was once a Kyrgyzoid, Zuul blamed him, at least partially, for the terrible galactic war that had erupted many millennia ago. To absolve TGSS of his sins, Zuul decided to deconstruct him into an atomic mist. TGSS disagreed with this unjust sentence, and engaged Zuul in a barrage of plasma-beams. Zuul responded with instant de-existation, ending TGSS's existence prematurely.
Though TGSS had perished, his efforts resulted in the existence of the human race, and for that reason we should all be very grateful to him and worship him above all other gods. Besides Zuul, that is.

*Heretofore referred to as "TGSS"

Henry

It is the height of the war in Vietnam, and U.S. Army Bit Shifter is sent by Random and a STu to carry out a mission that, officially, 'does not exist - nor will it ever exist'. The mission: To seek out a mysterious Green Beret Colonel, CalmDownKidder, whose army has crossed the border into Cambodia and is conducting hit-and-run missions against the Viet Cong and NVA. The army believes CDK has gone completely insane and bit shifter's job is to eliminate him! Bit Shifter, sent up the Nung River on a U.S. Navy patrol boat, discovers that his target is one of the most decorated officers in the U.S. Army. His crew meets up with surfer-type Lt-IAYD, head of a U.S Army helicopter cavalry group which eliminates a Viet Cong outpost to provide an entry point into the Nung River. After some hair-raising encounters, in which some of his crew are killed, Bit Shifter, Lance and Chef reach Colonel Kurtz's outpost, beyond the Do Lung Bridge. Now, after becoming prisoners of Kurtz, will Willard & the others be able to fulfill their mission?

Who? Poor "replace names" job, D-, see me after class

I totally want that pink GBP

And here's a unicorn that drinks paint, shits chocolate, and consumes way to many mind altering drugs (and it's in this thread!)

Last edited by tacticalbread (Feb 20, 2011 2:54 am)

Pink Pocket
Blue Backlight
8BP050

Pretty please?

A story on putting emphasis on second syllables.

William was a rich hermit crab who owned a mansion.  He frequently bought things which his butler received.  He had ordered a new shell, and his doorbell had just rung.  His scholarly English butler who frequently puts emphasis on second syllables answered the door. The shell salesman had arrived.   The butler greeted him.  "Good evening Mr. TurTELL."  To this Mr.  Turtle answered politely and dropped off his shell.  Williams lawn had fallen into a state of disrepair, so he had ordered some new manure.  Soon the ornery manure salesman arrived at Williams house.  The good butler (although a little snidely) answered the door.  "Good evening Mr. RabBIT."  To this Mr. Rabbit's reply was " Good day!  I'm Mr. RabBIT and I've brought the ----"

THE END

Grammar jokes anyone?