Thank you everyone for the responses. Rather than quote and respond to each post individually, I figured it'd be simpler to put in one post since many of you identified the same issues.

I agree that the drums need some work, the kick in particular. I'm thinking I screwed up the position of the kick drum mic when I was recording as I just couldn't get the "click" sound of the beater that I wanted. I tried fixing it with some eq, but I think the only real solution would be to record it a second time.

I was torn between adding more guitar parts and keeping it simple. I really do not know much about mixing (or recording, or songwriting...) at this point, and so I'm attracted to keeping things simple. Less voices clashing, less worry about trying to make sure that everything can be heard. However, there's no arguing that simplicity leads to less variation, which in turn makes it less interesting. I hope that as I continue this I'll naturally grow in more complicated arrangements.

Again, thank you to everyone for donating your time and thoughts.

This is the first time I've ever put anything together in LSDJ that sounds something like a song. As I imagine what happens to many people starting out with LSDJ, I played around with the wav channel until I stumbled onto a sound that got my gears going. The bass is grinding, kind of harsh. It borders on noisy to me, but in a way that I find appealing. It has a kind of push-pull thing going on that I quite like.

There's an abrupt change at about 50 seconds that I'm not sure really fits. In fact, that may be the main thing that's wrong with the whole song, there's not much of a unified style. From the intro, to around the 50 second where it enters kind of what I think of as the chorus, and then to where the actual rock part comes in at around 2:00, it doesn't fell very cohesive.

At any rate, if anyone wants to give it a listen and let me know their thoughts, I greatly appreciate the feedback.

https://soundcloud.com/professor-malevo … devlopment