I had to have a few of my friends listen to this. We are all musicians within the Michigan area that do things here and there for anyone from Punk bands to Community Theaters, all learned the basic music theory jumbo and what-not. It was hard to understand this song, but when I figured it out I showed them. Great work man! You followed basic structure very well, even though it may seem to you that you were all over the place. Sometimes our most harsh critics are ourselves. We didn't pirate the song or anything, but we listed the different verses you had, all had a good structure on there own, and were arranged together well. The only thing that confused us was somewhere around the 3:40-4:04 mark. When it first is played, it does slightly jump the rails but then when everything else is accompanied the song is brought back the original. 4:25 is another really weird point. Don't get me wrong or anything, it is all correct in the realm of music theory, just is off-setting until you hear what comes after it. Even after that, when it hits it's reprise the song reaches a perfect ending.
But again, all-in-all, this is a very well done song and I enjoyed listening to it.