Smashboy
Offline
PA,USA

Hey guys whats up? Im new to LSDJ and I've been playing around with it and experimenting alot with my DMG for quite a while. I've made 2 song's that I consider good enough to call songs.  The song I want C.C. on out of the 2 is the better one,"Apple Dragon. It is like 7mins long because I really had fun making it and didn't realize it was that long until i finished,also I think that since it was intended to be played in(for) live mode it is  another reason for its length(wanted to play something long,live). 

Well anyway,I hope I get criticism that is constructive,as in no bashing or insults,or any trolls. Remember that I am a new comer and I want to improve. smile   

Here it is
http://www.mediafire.com/?l33alnc1cne1aw8

Victory Road
Offline
Gosford, Australia

streaming link, please!

ChipsChallengeBand
Offline
Rochester, NY

Yeah, I'm not gonna download a song that I'm going to delete after listening to it once

SketchMan3
Offline
NC in the US of America

Can't you just choose to "Open..." instead of "Save..." The link? Then it'll just play either in your browser, or your media player, and then when close it, it's deleted. Pretty much how streaming works anyway.b Kind of.

Download is in mp3 format, not zip format.

ChipsChallengeBand
Offline
Rochester, NY

Nope, and you just tricked me into downloading it.

EDIT: Least you could've done is boosted the volume in audacity or something

EDIT: I didn't like it

EDIT: but seriously this was all filler no killer; your beats need work and you need to go above the C4 because everything sounded the same

EDIT: If that last bit was unclear, I'm not talking dynamic range (which you probably could also use) but your notes were never in different octaves or anything, or if they were, the melody wasn't compelling enough for me to notice

EDIT: humanizing your drums could go a long way as well, watch this, Danimal goes over it right in the beginning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAgM3KNhSLc

Keep working at it.  Never give up.

Last edited by ChipsChallengeBand (Jun 15, 2012 1:12 am)

SketchMan3
Offline
NC in the US of America
ChipsChallengeBand wrote:

Nope, and you just tricked me into downloading it.

EDIT: Least you could've done is boosted the volume in audacity or something

EDIT: I didn't like it

EDIT: but seriously this was all filler no killer; your beats need work and you need to go above the C4 because everything sounded the same

Oops. Well, you live and you learn, eh? I suppose it depends on your browser's download settings too.

Anyway, I agree with the above. It might be good in a live setting with maybe a band playing over it, or something else complimenting it, but as it is, there's not enough pay-off. It feels empty. Too much build up, but it never delivers.

But... on the bright side, at least it IS good filler-fodder.

Smashboy
Offline
PA,USA
ChipsChallengeBand wrote:

Nope, and you just tricked me into downloading it.

EDIT: Least you could've done is boosted the volume in audacity or something

EDIT: I didn't like it

EDIT: but seriously this was all filler no killer; your beats need work and you need to go above the C4 because everything sounded the same

EDIT: If that last bit was unclear, I'm not talking dynamic range (which you probably could also use) but your notes were never in different octaves or anything, or if they were, the melody wasn't compelling enough for me to notice

EDIT: humanizing your drums could go a long way as well, watch this, Danimal goes over it right in the beginning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAgM3KNhSLc

Keep working at it.  Never give up.

"Nope, and you just tricked me into downloading it"
You can delete when your done,no problem.

"Least you could've done is boosted the volume in audacity or something"
I don't know how to use Audacity,it's never as easy for me as people make it seem. I recorded from an emulator and turned its WAV to mp3.

"I didn't like it"
Haters gonna hate tongue

" but seriously this was all filler no killer"
elaborate

" humanizing your drums could go a long way as well, watch this, Danimal goes over it right in the beginning http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAgM3KNhSLc"
I was wondering about that but not sure about how to do it,hope that link is useful.


"If that last bit was unclear, I'm not talking dynamic range (which you probably could also use) but your notes were never in different octaves or anything, or if they were, the melody wasn't compelling enough for me to notice"
I never noticed that lol

"your beats need work and you need to go above the C4 because everything sounded the same"
How do I improve beats?

Now tell me the good things about it. Don't tell me just about the ugly.

I came here to learn ,not get massacred lol I just started people! I'm supposed suck! XD lol

Last edited by Smashboy (Jun 15, 2012 2:20 am)

Smashboy
Offline
PA,USA
SketchMan3 wrote:
ChipsChallengeBand wrote:

Nope, and you just tricked me into downloading it.

EDIT: Least you could've done is boosted the volume in audacity or something

EDIT: I didn't like it

EDIT: but seriously this was all filler no killer; your beats need work and you need to go above the C4 because everything sounded the same

Oops. Well, you live and you learn, eh? I suppose it depends on your browser's download settings too.

Anyway, I agree with the above. It might be good in a live setting with maybe a band playing over it, or something else complimenting it, but as it is, there's not enough pay-off. It feels empty. Too much build up, but it never delivers.

But... on the bright side, at least it IS good filler-fodder.

"It feels empty"
I understand that completely,I actually noticed that myself. I think it's most likely because I'm only using a single DMG. (I'll get more stuff as I progress)

Last edited by Smashboy (Jun 15, 2012 2:08 am)

Auxcide
Offline
The Multiverse ::: [CA, Sac]

You don't need more stuff to make one gameboy not sound empty. Listen to Zef. Mind blowing. Actually, go get his album and .sav files for some tips.

also, they may sound mean and unnecessarily rude to you, but these guys know their stuff. To the point where I won't even listen to this because I trust their judgment. They've probably covered everything I'd say. But that wouldn't be fair so I'll listen to this soon and give you some more detailed advice. wink

Last edited by Auxcide (Jun 15, 2012 2:36 am)

Smashboy
Offline
PA,USA
Auxcide wrote:

You don't need more stuff to make one gameboy not sound empty. Listen to Zef. Mind blowing. Actually, go get his album and .sav files for some tips.

also, they may sound mean and unnecessarily rude to you, but these guys know their stuff. To the point where I won't even listen to this because I trust their judgment. They've probably covered everything I'd say. But that wouldn't be fair so I'll listen to this soon and give you some more detailed advice. wink

Ok thanks,I guess I gotta look at the DMG as multiple instruments rather than just one with a lot of sounds. I thought if I had 2 I'd get more out of it. Is this site just for like the the pro's? Because I was told to come here because it was a great place to learn but now I feel like my kind isn't welcome anymore lol

Last edited by Smashboy (Jun 15, 2012 3:04 am)

Frostbyte
Offline

No matter what gear you have or how bad you want it, you will suck until you have written at least 100+ songs. By then you'll have developed an ear for what sounds good and what sounds bad. This stage took me a year, and I've already had many years of musical experience, and I feel iLife I've only just gotten good. Do yourself a few favors:

1. Get a soundcloud account.

2. Don't drop money on new/expensive gear, you wont sound any better

3. Don't release an album until you know you're really good from outside opinions

4. Listen and listen and listen and listen to so much music.

5. Ask people for tips and help on writing. The only reason I learned the wav channel was looking at zef's files, emailing cheapshot asking for help, and emailing Electric Children. That's also how you make friends.

6. Don't give up!

Frostbyte
Offline

The best thing about the chip scene is that you can email your heroa and learn directly from them, ns sometimes befriend them. It's a huge plus for chip music.

Guitarists can't quite email Hendrix now, can they wink use that to your advantage.

Smashboy
Offline
PA,USA
Frostbyte wrote:

The best thing about the chip scene is that you can email your heroa and learn directly from them, ns sometimes befriend them. It's a huge plus for chip music.

Guitarists can't quite email Hendrix now, can they wink use that to your advantage.

I'd be scared to...what if I send them what they deem as crap? lol  I'd feel like a burden.

"you will suck until you have written at least 100+ songs."
That sentence makes me wanna quit,it seems very far away D:> lol

Last edited by Smashboy (Jun 15, 2012 3:01 am)

VCMG
Offline
California
Smashboy wrote:

Is this site just for like the the pro's? Because I was told to come here because it was a great place to learn but now I feel like my kind isn't welcome anymore lol

It is a great place to learn if you know how to not sound uninformed. You came here to get constructive criticism and you got constructive criticism. The phrase doesn't have the word "criticism" in it just because. These guys told you they didn't like your song, but they explained why they didn't like your song. Bashing excludes that last part. And they're not obligated to say anything good about your track either. If anything, unwarranted praise hurts your motivation to improve.

As for your kind not being welcome, yes, you are correct. 13-year-olds (I'm assuming you're around that age) that sound exactly like 13-year-olds are not welcome because honestly, they're annoying. However, 13-year-olds that sound mature enough to have an intelligent discussion are welcome here. Those lols and XDs? Cut it out. It makes you look and sound very childish.

Last edited by VCMG (Jun 15, 2012 3:14 am)

VCMG
Offline
California

As for the actual song, it's okay; not overtly terrible, but like ChipsChallengeBand said, I just didn't like it. Ditto on everything he said, really. I'd say to try and write out some actual melodies, because this song sounds like it's just a rhythm backing for something else. In fact, there's a couple parts in here that I'd say would be pretty good if they had some melodies over it.

But like everyone said, don't give up, keep trying and all that. My first decent song was my 12th one, and even then it wasn't all that great. It just takes time.

Smashboy
Offline
PA,USA
VCMG wrote:
Smashboy wrote:

Is this site just for like the the pro's? Because I was told to come here because it was a great place to learn but now I feel like my kind isn't welcome anymore lol

It is a great place to learn if you know how to not sound uninformed. You came here to get constructive criticism and you got constructive criticism. The phrase doesn't have the word "criticism" in it just because. These guys told you they didn't like your song, but they explained why they didn't like your song. Bashing excludes that last part.

As for your kind not being welcome, yes, you are correct. 13-year-olds (I'm assuming you're around that age) that sound exactly like 13-year-olds are not welcome because honestly, they're annoying. However, 13-year-olds that sound mature enough to have an intelligent discussion are welcome here. Those lols and XDs? Cut it out. It makes you look and sound very childish.

OK? I'm not 13,I'm 19 for 4 more days. And I guess if XD's and lol bothers you then you must be and old guy that dislikes young people,I just thought it was friendly,what's wrong with that? It doesn't bother me if they won't like, I didn't really expect them too since I'm a newbie anyways. And I didn't notice anything unintelligent other than your over reaction,like chill out dude.I asked for Criticism and I got it,but I didn't complain,did I? I asked questions and my responses weren't negative in anyway.  I rather pick flowers instead of fights,but just because I'm a newbie does not mean I'm stupid. So why pick a fight with me?

Last edited by Smashboy (Jun 15, 2012 3:27 am)