Hello! I'd like to get DeadBeatBlast's album, the GB/GBC Link Cable, and Kid Icarus' album please. In order to convince you to send me these items, I'm going to tell you a story. A story about the great space strawberry.
The great space strawberry* was not an strawberry at all; instead it was a huge alien being, the last of its race. Aeons ago, before time was even invented, the Kyrgyzoids (TGSS's species) reigned as the supreme dominators of known space, using their devastating disintegrator weapons to keep other civilizations in check. However, the government of the Kyrgyzoids morally stagnated and became corrupt over time, leading to vast oversights in both the advancement of weapons technology and the monitoring of some of the apparently less rebellious worlds. Finally, a minor rebellion on Qwantos VI became a rallying point for the oppressed denizens of all of the planets underneath the Kyrgyzoids' rule, leading to a brutal and inhumane galactic war. When the Kyrgyzoid's defeat became imminent, pulse-drive powered star-dreadnoughts impeding on the territory of the most stalwart of the former dominators' strongholds, the once-powerful race activated an immense nuclear bomb that wiped out nearly all life in known space. However, in a freak accident, TGSS had been working in a massive lead-lined safe that somehow prevented the radiation poisoning from destroying his neurons. Filled with regret at what his people had done, TGSS dedicated his life towards the creation of a perfect universe, filled with flourishing life not unlike that that had once filled the universe that TGSS knew and loved.
Over the millennia, TGSS submitted himself to terrible cybernetic and biological modifications, forming himself into a giant, spacebearing red fruit, covered in thousands of life-giving seeds. He flew throughout the universe, depositing his seeds onto promising worlds. The seeds sprouted and evolved in myriad ways, diverging to become the species that are unfamiliar and familiar to human beings, some examples being people, dolphins, Martians, and Shpleabii.
Though TGSS's cause was noble, it brought him into direct conflict with the presiding god of our universe, Zuul. Though a benevolent god, Zuul's belief was that evil-doers should be forced to bear the results of their actions. Since TGSS was once a Kyrgyzoid, Zuul blamed him, at least partially, for the terrible galactic war that had erupted many millennia ago. To absolve TGSS of his sins, Zuul decided to deconstruct him into an atomic mist. TGSS disagreed with this unjust sentence, and engaged Zuul in a barrage of plasma-beams. Zuul responded with instant de-existation, ending TGSS's existence prematurely.
Though TGSS had perished, his efforts resulted in the existence of the human race, and for that reason we should all be very grateful to him and worship him above all other gods. Besides Zuul, that is.
*Heretofore referred to as "TGSS"