projectinformtheworld wrote:I refuse to ever talk to him one on one ever again. Why? because he's so manipulative. I am strong, intelligent, confident person (clearly, right!?!), I don't get manipulated and used easily. I'm educated, especially when it comes to sex/std safety. I am over-protective of my body. I have a very firm grasp of my values and ethics. But even today, armed with all of the knowledge that I have about Martin Edward Kraham, I would not trust myself to not be manipulated by him again. I THINK I would be able to see through his bullshit now and not buy a word he said, but I don't know that. I certainly wouldn't ever put myself in the situation to find out for sure.
I have seen this type of dangerous sociopath a few times in my life, and even had the bleak misfortune of being in a band with one. Everything seems fine at first, then you catch yourself doing and saying things you would never do, all to appease the manipulator. I learned the hard way that yes, there are some truly damaged (and even evil) people out there. Ever since I've made it a point to try to disarm and discredit these "Personality cult seekers" whenever I find them in my personal sphere of influence. In being "that guy" I've found that the saddest part is that sometimes in situations like this, the worst victims are the most blindly loyal to the abuser. Some are in it for sex, some are in it for fame, most are in it for cash, but the scariest bastards are the ones who do it just because they can. The very idea of that makes me physically ill!
As another veteran of the punk rock lifestyle, my heart goes out to you. The fringe lifestyles/genres seem to attract this type of asshole with surprising regularity... all I can do is shake my head. I'm proud and kinda mystified at how much righteous hatred there is for this turd (Marty) around here. I can see that collectively we're not afraid to play it pretty close and kick the bad apples the fuck out, before they spoil the bunch. Many other scenes would do well to start drawing a harder line with the sexist, racist, homophobes and "Party Marty" types that slip in looking for a free ride on the "Yeah man, I'm hardcore, I'm living on the edge!" line. What a shitty excuse to be a bad person.
Anyway, you've chosen not to be a victim and instead you've owned your situation with as much grace as one could expect. Honestly, you've already won. Think of all of our bitching and railing against this world class assclown as a sweet victory lap. You've earned it.