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edit: datathrash. where else can you find gifs like:
http://postimg.org/image/91gfiucir/

are you currently in boulder?

Dead is a strong word.
Scenes can't die. Objectively, you could say ska is dead. But every now and then there's a ska show people get pumped for here in denver. A scene can only die if those inside the scene allow it's death. 
I would say we are far from that.

My preliminary research shows quickly

Piggy is probably your best choice.
Nanoloop Mobile also works well as a drum machine, up to six channels. You also get the flexibility if you'd like in writing with the program's instruments.
See: http://jakeallison.bandcamp.com/

but honestly, in a perfect chipworld, with my bestest chipbros and broettes,
we'd wear matching jumpsuits and have choreographed dance numbers

i feel dirty