LsdJ
Where can I get a copy of LsdJ? (insert joke about "what the fuck is /B/?")
record the channels individually and then gate the noise.
This has a lot of merit. I know I have done it. Post compression and filtering reduces heaps of the things you mention you dislike about the sound of the WAV channel. But as others have said, rather than trying to 'fix' the way the WAV channel plays back, work with it, clip your samples, be conscious that there will be noise there and go for noisy samples. Or, don't use samples...